Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Randomize
