i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
