absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
