Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
