I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
