i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
