why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
