how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize