I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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