He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think i got beer on your cat.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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