If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
