Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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