I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
