areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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