apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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