I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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