so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
