How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
