he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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