He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize