i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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