I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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