NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
