Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
