I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
