apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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