We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
