Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
did i just pee glitter
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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