Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
