omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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