Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can I color on your dick again?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize