In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
