Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
