pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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