I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't turn off my feet"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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