Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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