If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
wow bdsm is so cute
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