Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
