i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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