the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
