Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
