I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
