super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
