You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize