hotel room ftw
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
