Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
