No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
