Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
