whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize