nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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