At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
