Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
