Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
