After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
