She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
