i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
