so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize