I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
