How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
