I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
