I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
