I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
