Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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