I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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