so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
