Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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