He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
did i walk over a car last night?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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