haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just found a bag of teeth...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
