when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
