Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We are two peas in an std pod
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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