Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Pooping to opera.
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