i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
