roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
