16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
