it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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